Fears of the Heart
by Spyder Webb
Summary: Sequel to 'Happy Birthday Malak' which is the sequel to 'Yours Completely'. Main Pairing: MarikRyouMalik, links found in bio.
1. Chapter One

Hello! This is the crappy sequel to 'Happy Birthday Malak' which is the crappy sequel to 'Yours Completely'.  
  
If you haven't read either of the fics stated above, read them first because this story isn't going to explain some of the things that those two fics explained. You can find a direct link to the two stories in my bio because all they contain are horribly written lemons. - -;;; This fic is also going to contain probably more than one horribly written lemon and they'll be posted (like the first two fics) on Adultfanfiction . net and I'll be posting a link.  
  
This has been sitting on my hard drive for a while and I know it's not that good, but whatever.  
  
And for those who don't know what 'Malak' means, I'll give you a hint: What is Sephiroth often referred as in Final Fantasy VII and kinda in Kingdom Hearts?  
  
On another note, no I don't think Ryou's mother is a bitch and Ryou-chan's an only child.  
  
[ thoughts ]  
  
*italics*  
  
/ Hikari to Yami /  
  
// Yami to Hikari //  
  
- - -  
  
Fears of the Heart  
  
- - -  
  
Chapter One  
  
- - -  
  
A young boy, no older than five years old, stared out the large window of his home. His large brown eyes held confusion that surpassed his years of understanding as he watched his mother and father standing in the front yard by his father's car, screaming at each other. He could hear their words because the front door was open, but he didn't understand what they meant.  
  
"Fuck you Roger! I'm not about to change my god damned lifestyle because of some stupid brat that I didn't want in the first place!" His mother yelled angrily.  
  
Roger Bakura scowled as he looked at his wife. He wasn't a violent man by nature, but what he wouldn't give to slap his wife, make that ex-wife, at that moment. "You better not be talking like that around our son!" He spat angrily, knowing that the child was watching them from the window.  
  
"Fuck *our* son! That brat is nothing but a mistake!" She growled, pointing back at the house.  
  
"Candice!" Roger was surprised by the hatred in her voice. She had not been like this when he had married her; she had been a very sweet and caring person. But the pregnancy had changed her, and not for the better. It had turned her into a bitter, loathing person and over the years she had only gotten worse. "I would be ecstatic to take Ryou with me, but I can't. It wouldn't be healthy for him to be traveling around Egypt when he needs to go to school and make friends here." [Not to say it's healthy for him to stay here with you either.] The man thought, but the courts had decided when the divorced papers had been signed.  
  
"Look, I've got to go, my plane leaves in a few minutes." He sighed then watched his wife storm toward the house. He shook his head softly then looked up again at the big picture window where a small silver-haired boy stood watching. A small smile graced his lips as he waved at the boy, the boy shyly waving back. With that, Roger Bakura got into his car and drove away.  
  
Ryou watched as the red vehicle drove away before turning to his mother as she stormed into the house and slammed the door, causing the small boy to flinch slightly. "Mommy?" He asked softly.  
  
She turned hazel eyes on him and glared. "What did you call me?" She said slowly, "How many times have I told you not to call me that?" She spat angrily, closing the curtains and roughly slapping the child across the face.  
  
Ryou's eyes filled with tears as he held his reddening cheek. "I-I'm sorry. . ." He whimpered slightly as two tears fell from his eyes.  
  
"Oh, for the love of. . .go to your room stupid, I don't want to see you again tonight!" She growled and pushed the child toward the hallway. Ryou didn't need anymore encouragement as he ran as fast as his small legs could carry him. He quietly closed his door, not wanting to make any noise that would anger his mother further, then he silently climbed onto his bed.  
  
He liked it when his father would come and visit him when he wasn't traveling around Egypt. He missed his daddy and had ever since his parents had split up. The phone calls were nice, but it wasn't the same as being able to see his father. And his father always brought him a present!  
  
Speaking of which, Ryou turned to look at the head of the bed where the unwrapped box was sitting on his pillow. Taking it he carefully unwrapped the paper and then lifted the lid on the box. Inside the box sat a stuffed kitten and Ryou's face lit up with excitement as he pulled the white furry animal out of the box and held it close to his nose. Round brown eyes stared back at him.  
  
Smiling, Ryou hugged the kitten to his chest tightly, then noticed a piece of paper in the bottom of the box. Carefully, he picked it up and opened it, recognizing his father's neat printing.  
  
"To Ryou, I saw this and thought of you. Love Dad."  
  
Ryou beamed when he read the last two words as he hugged the kitten and the note to him. The word 'love' was never used around the house and he wasn't allowed to call his mother anything but 'ma'am' so it was nice to know that someone cared for him. He quickly got up and stuck the note in an old shoebox, to join all the other notes his father had left for him. Then he ran back to the bed and crawled under the covers with his new toy.  
  
He didn't have naps anymore, and it was too soon for bedtime, but in sleep he got to dream about having a happy family.  
  
***  
  
Seventeen-year old Ryou Bakura opened his eyes as the dream stopped. Slowly, he sat up and looked around the darkness of his room unconsciously reaching for the soft plush kitten, confused.  
  
Realizing it had been one of his dreams again; he sighed to himself and slowly crawled out of bed.  
  
- - - 


	2. Chapter Two

NOTICE: This chapter you will find out what 'Malak' means. Don't be mad at me if your disappointed. I hadn't written HBM to make 'Malak' that important. It's just a nickname after all and. . .yeah, just no lynching me.  
  
WARNINGS (for this chapter): Child abuse to the extreme (well, probably not the extreme, but. . .yeah.)  
  
[ thoughts ]  
  
*italics*  
  
/ Hikari to Yami /  
  
// Yami to Hikari //  
  
- - -  
  
Fears of the Heart  
  
- - -  
  
Chapter Two  
  
- - -  
  
They hadn't bothered him for so long that he had actually been able to forget for a time and move on with his life. But now, in the middle of a dreary night, after waking alone in a cold bed, they had returned to him, haunting him again, almost clearer than before.  
  
Ryou Bakura closed his eyes as he turned the light on in the kitchen, and after blinking against the brightness he walked to the cupboard. He pulled out a small pot and placed it on the stove then went to the fridge and grabbed the milk. Pouring the white liquid into the pot Ryou turned the stove on and stirred the milk absentmindedly as his dreams replayed through his mind. Only they weren't dreams or even nightmares.  
  
They were memories. All of them had actually happened. Shaking his head to rid himself of those thoughts, Ryou sighed as he checked the milk. He found it the perfect temperature and carefully poured the steaming liquid into a mug. Next he grabbed the honey from the cupboard beside the stove and poured a general amount into the mug. As he sat at the kitchen table he stirred the liquid, mixing the melting honey into the white milk, turning it a bronze colour.  
  
Something warm and furry rubbed against his bare leg, but before he could look down, a silver fur ball jumped onto the table and began to inspect his milk, lapping some of it up. "Ishtar, you know you're not allowed on the table." Ryou scowled half-heartedly which only caused the kitten to tilt his head curiously. There was a lot he wasn't allowed to do - yet his master let him do it anyway. Ryou smiled to himself, glad that he wasn't alone.  
  
"What Bakura doesn't know won't hurt him." A voice caused Ryou to jump and his eyes darted over to the entrance of the kitchen where Yami Yugi stood. The pharaoh entered the kitchen and sat down across from Ryou. "So, this is what? The fourth time this week that you've gotten up in the middle of the night?" Yami looked across the table at a startled Ryou.  
  
"What? Have you been spying on me?" Ryou wondered, not accusingly, more lazily. Actually, he wasn't surprised either, he figured he made noise during his dreams and was only surprised by the fact that Bakura - a trained thief - had not heard him at all.  
  
"Of course not." Yami rolled his eyes. "I'm a really light sleeper when I want to be and I heard you moving around in your sleep." He explained as Ryou's gaze fell to the table. "You talk in your sleep too. I. . .checked on you last night and the night before. Don't worry, it was all gibberish." He promised as Ryou's brown eyes widened at the thought of something unknown to him passing his lips. [ So much like Bakura. ] Yami mused as he went on. "So, what's happened to cause you to have nightmares?" He wondered.  
  
Ryou sipped at his cooling drink, not worried about getting cat germs. Speaking of which, he looked at Ishtar who had begun to lick his paw. "Nothing recently." He shrugged, setting his mug down. Ishtar's small ears perked up and he waddled over toward the mug, sticking his entire head into it to taste the milk. "Just stuff from when I was a kid." He mumbled. "I don't really want to talk about it though." He said, trying to clue Yami in.  
  
"One thing I've learned from Yugi is to know when someone needs to talk and when they need someone to listen." Yami said gently and Ryou knew what he was offering, but he also knew that Yami wouldn't force him to speak. This caused him the urge to actually speak to Yami about his past. "If whatever is bothering you is giving you nightmares and is effecting you, then I think it's about time you talked to someone about it. If not me, then someone else."  
  
Sighing to himself, Ryou reached out and pulled Ishtar out of the mug, the kitten's face covered with honey milk. Smiling at the animal, Ryou held him in his arms as he looked across the table at Yami Yugi. "You really wanna know?" He asked the pharaoh. "It's been about my fear of being tied up mostly. . .at least. . .that's what started it. Then one memory led to another and. . ." He sighed. "When Marik, Malik and I went out to dinner with Joey and Mai, they all got talking about bondage and something's got said and I just can't help but think about them." He closed his eyes. "I figure that some of my fear is from Bakura, but most of it is my own. I don't know how much you know about my mother."  
  
"I know that after her death, you started to live with your father." Yami said.  
  
Ryou smiled sadly as he looked at Yami. "That's the thing. My mother isn't actually dead. She's dead to the family, but in reality she still walks among the living."  
  
"Huh?" Yami raised an eyebrow. "But then why did you move in with your father?"  
  
Ryou knew he had to explain what nobody, not even Bakura, or Malik or Marik knew. Hell, he hadn't even told his father what had happened. The only things the man knew were what he himself had witnessed. "My mother never liked kids." Ryou began. "I was an accident and she never hesitated to tell me so. I guess I'm kinda lucky that her family and religion were strongly against abortion and that she was really religious." He held Ishtar up to his chin and nuzzled the kitten softly. It hurt to remember how much his mother hated him and the kitten, a gift of love, made him feel a little comfort.  
  
As if knowing Ryou needed him, Ishtar gently nuzzled the boy's neck and began to purr.  
  
"When I first moved in with my father, I had a few problems, to say the least. And I was ashamed of myself. I felt as though everyone was better than I was because they weren't a mistake. When Yugi and the others began to talk to me it was just easier to say that my mom had died." He shrugged.  
  
Yami nodded, "I understand. But what does this have to do with your fear of being constricted?"  
  
Ryou closed his eyes again as Ishtar began to purr louder, calming him a little. "My parents got divorced when I was five. My mother got custody of me because my father was always away. She wanted nothing to do with me and would ignore me a lot. She fed me and everything, but that was about it. She began to take these trips where she'd be gone all day. She tied me into my bed so I couldn't make a mess of anything." Ryou bit his lip to stop it from quivering.  
  
"How long did that last?" Yami wondered.  
  
"A long time. It eventually turned into two days at a time and then three and four." He looked at the floor as a soft blush coloured his cheeks. "I was left tied to my bed, so I couldn't eat or drink and when I had to go to the bathroom. . ." He shrugged, wiping a tear falling from his eye. "Finally on one of her trips, I'm not sure how long she had been gone, or how much longer she was going to be, though she always came back before I could starve to death, my father came to visit me. When he was on his trips he'd always phone, so it wasn't like he just appeared out of the blue." Ryou cleared his throat.  
  
"Anyway, he came into the house to leave a note. He knew where Mom kept the extra key outside so he just walked in. He was passing my room and I called out to him. After that he got custody and we moved around for a while before coming to Domino."  
  
Yami was silent for a moment as what Ryou had just said registered to him. "Why haven't you told Bakura? It's not good to keep things from your other half." He explained gently. Out of all the Millennium Item holders with other halves, Ryou and Bakura were the only two with secrets between them. He and Yugi always talked via their soul link, and he knew that Marik and Malik were close.  
  
"Bakura doesn't tell me everything, I had to learn about the abuse from his father through his dreams." Ryou spat, then softened. "And it's hard to just take back something like that. Nobody will ever trust me again because I'm a liar." The boy sighed as Ishtar moved to his shoulders, gently wrapping his tail around Ryou's neck.  
  
"That doesn't make you a liar." Yami insisted. "You were protecting yourself, everyone has the right to that." The two of them were silent, but it was a comfortable silence. Having Yami over so much it was like having another brother around. The two had grown quite close.  
  
Ryou was the one to finally break the silence. "Yami? You speak Arabic, right?"  
  
"Some." Yami nodded.  
  
"Well, Marik keeps calling me something and neither him or Malik will tell me the meaning of." Ryou sighed, "I was hoping that you could. I've searched everywhere for the meaning, but I can't find it."  
  
"I can't tell you unless I know what it is that he's called you." Yami smiled teasingly.  
  
"Malak." Ryou replied, looking at the pharaoh for any type of reaction.  
  
The pharaoh's first reaction was to be confused. "He's been calling you 'Malik'? I know Marik's insane, but I didn't think his mind was that far gone. . ."  
  
The silver haired teen rolled his eyes, "No, Malak. There's an 'A' instead of an 'I'." He explained.  
  
Yami seemed surprised, but only slightly and there was a knowing smile gracing his lips. "Marik's been calling you Malak huh? It's fitting." He nodded. To an outsider, it was hard to imagine Marik anything but a sex addict bastard, but since Yami lived with Ryou and the two Egyptians were over all the time, Yami had seen a totally different side. Oh no, Marik was still a sex addict bastard, just a soft one. Very soft, especially for Malik and Ryou.  
  
Ryou raised an eyebrow. "Well Great Lord and Master, are you going to reveal the sacred meaning or are you planning to make me suffer more?" Ryou teased.  
  
Yami rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure I want to ruin it for Marik, maybe he'll eventually tell you." He shrugged then saw the look on Ryou's face. "Okay, okay, you're right, Marik will never tell you."  
  
"So?" Ryou asked, still awaiting an answer.  
  
Yami smiled, "Ryou, Malak means 'Angel'. Marik has been calling you an angel."  
  
Ryou blushed at the thought, but at the same time his heart swelled at it. "Really?" He asked softly and Yami nodded, "But why do you think it's fitting?" He was confused.  
  
Yami chuckled. "An angel is a symbol of light, purity, miracles and innocence. If Marik thinks so highly of you, it must be true. He's not the type to let his judgement be clouded by his emotions." The pharaoh explained, then blinked at his own comment. "Usually."  
  
Ryou was silent again then finally he got up, forcing Ishtar to the floor. The silver haired boy went over to his 'brother' and wrapped his arms around the pharaoh in a tight hug. "Thanks Yami." He said. "I'm going back to bed. You should do the same before Bakura wakes up and finds you gone. You know how much he hates being alone in the dark." Ryou smiled before leaving the kitchen, Ishtar following close behind.  
  
- - -  
  
Notes:  
  
Actually, I'm not sure if Malak is Arabic or Egyptian. I knew at one time but now I can't remember. Oh well. It's also actually pronounced like 'Malik' but I'm pretty sure there's a slight difference. *shrugs* And if not, I don't care.  
  
Hey, I said no lynching! 


End file.
